Confessions of a Candegirl: November 2010

Monday, November 29, 2010

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Friday, November 5, 2010

The Man, The Myth, The Legend: Tyler Perry

Musical Inspiration

Artist: Donny Hathaway

Song: Little Ghetto Boy

Peace and Love Candegirl

My Girlfriends...

I have been thinking a lot about the relationship that is the female friendship. It is a relationship often lampooned and criticized. So often women are betrayed as jealous, back biting and selfish in their dealings with one another. While of course all relationships face special challenges it seems even women don't believe in the power of their connection to one another. We are so quick to blast or dismiss our friendships. To allow flaws of character to ruin the strength of what our friendships and most importantly to ruin what they can become.

I have been blessed to have amazing friends, but in life the true gift is in the ability to recognize your blessings. I have built a family, a circle as we call it, of women where I laugh, cry or scream I know they will be my side. After having this I can't imagine what life would be like without it. With all of the many personalities there is something I gain in knowing each one of them. I see pieces of my own beauty in their faces. I know that if God saw fit for me to have such remarkable people in my life I must be apart of that cloth.

It's tough being a woman and you need others who can relate to your journey. Who also deal with the affects of being daughters, granddaughters, sisters, mothers and wives. Titles that come, each with their own special blessings and challenges. I have male friends, but my female friends give me that "Beaches", "Steel Magnolias", "YaYa" and "Waiting to Exhale" love that I need. An understanding of what it is like to have your body and mind literally on a cycle through life.

When I hear women say I don't have female friends my heart breaks, because I know that is someone who has more than likely had a person take advantage of their true friendship. My hope is that every woman finds one other woman on earth who she can call friend undeniably. We have to teach our daughters to be the kind friends we would have wanted, or have, in our own lives.

I tell younger women whenever I can, to cherish their female friends wether you have a group or just one. Treat it with the love you would give any dear family member. I understand that as an only child my connection to friendship is more pronounced. There are no sisters I can turn to, but there are friends who have been sisters in more ways that I can count. They have loved me in such a way that even as an only child I can feel the strength of sisterhood in my very being.

The most important part of friendship is remembering that just like in most parts of life you only get out what you put in. Always check yourself to be sure that you aren't abusing your friends. That when all is said and done each of you has credits and debits. There are times when you will need to withdraw more than that person, but be sure when they need more you will be there.

Friendship is work. It isn't easy, but the joy in looking around and knowing someone is there with you makes this road we call life a hell of lot easier.

To my circle....THANK YOU.

"There is a kind of quilt called a friendship quilt, but I imagine all of mine, no matter what their pattern, are emblems of female friendship, that essential thread that has so often kept the pieces of my own life together, and from time to time kept me from falling apart."

Anna Quindlen

Peace and Love Candegirl

This free picture collage made with Smilebox

Musical Inspiration
Artist: Whitney Houston and Cece Winans
Song: Count on Me