You Design Yourself....

"Remind yourself. Nobody's built like you, you design yourself." Jay-Z

In this thing we call dating you better believe there will be disappointments, I mean after all ...we are dealing with other humans. If you have paid any attention to yourself lately you will recognize one thing "humans are on some bullshit". I mean be real honest with yourself...isn't just a piece of you a little bull shitty? Well, some of us have more B.S. per atom than others. These B.S. atoms tend to lead to disappointment not in the owner of  the atoms, but the folks that have to deal with them and for this post...especially the people who date them.

I was stood up yesterday. Yes in 2012 folks are still inconsiderate enough to not follow through on plans and then not alert you to that fact. I have been stood up in worst ways I guess (silver lining). I have been the girl waiting in a restaurant for a person who never shows up and doesn't return your call or text when you inquire to see what the delay is.

Yesterday was different. I was asked out nearly two weeks ago, which at the time earned the person points. I thought it was great, finally someone was planning ahead. Understanding I am a busy woman. We set a date and time...that was later changed to the next day, because he had another engagement. Well let's just say I called and sent text messages to get the update on where we would be meeting and all of the request to this very moment have been met with silence.

Is this getting stood up in the traditional sense? No, I guess not. However, I adjusted my schedule to make time inside of a very busy weekend only to be told by actions that my time is not important to this person.

So here is the confession part: I kinda had a little dating break down. I called a friend and told her I was officially applying for  my spinster card. Get me a cat, some yarn and some sweaters with needle point sayings like "who needs men when you have pancakes". 

(I apologize to all those I know with cats, who knit and own needle point shirts...lol)

I went on a rant and my friend called me on my B.S. She was saying the right things, but I wasn't open. I was allowing this persons actions to design me. To tell me the direction of my life, the direction of my energy.

This morning I woke up and the first thing in my head: "If you a questioning if you are good enough. The answer is yes. You are worthy of the best...no question there". 

WHOMP...is all I could think. How dare I allow one bull shitty person to define me. I am fabulous. I was before being stood up and I still am this morning. This persons actions can't alter what was already there and if I allow those actions to...I needed to be stood up.

So I recalled my application for spinsterhood. I am still out here. Still trying. Still believing that there is a person who will value my time, my energy and fabulousness.

Here is to hoping you feel the same....

Peace and Love Candegirl

Musical Inspiration
Song: A Dream
Artist: Jay-Z