Vent: He's Not Cutting...ACTUALLY!!!

Musical Inspiration
Artist: Run DMC
Song: You Be Illin








Peace and Love Candegirl

Vent: No You Aren't Invited...ACTUALLY!

Musical Inspiration
Artist: Alanis Morissette
Song: Uninvited





Peace and Love Candegirl

A Message About: The Blog

"It was January 1st and very Bridgette Jones style I was sitting alone in my house in a bath rob and thinking about my life(I am sure there was some wine involved). I was thinking about being single at nearly 30, a social butterfly, and a LOVER of Detroit among many other things and what all of that means to my daily walk. There are so many stories that come from those parts of my life that I believe are universal. So now I do these confessions, sometimes written articles mostly video's, that allow me to vent to the world all the things that make up this girl in the city. This is how Confessions of a Candegirl was born." Candice to Metromix on why she started Confessions 

If you are my friend, and honestly, even if you aren't, you will here me say one phrase over and over "The Blog". Like those people you know who are in new loving relationships who can't stop saying stuff like "The Baby", "The Husband", The Boyfriend". You could have introduced them to their husband and damn well know their name is not "The Husband", but they just can't help themselves. It feels good to have something that is yours. Something to announce to the world. Be it a baby, a husband, a boyfriend and in my case...a blog.

On that January day last year things could have been very different. I could have kept thinking of all the things I didn't have that I want. The life that is alluding me. Instead I started a blog. A way to connect to people who feel the way I do. Sometimes your own thoughts can make you think you are going crazy. You feel like no one else can relate to where you are, has walked in the path you are on or feels the emotions you feel. In reality nothing could be further from the truth. This blog has taught me that over and over. While I don't get many direct comments to the posts, I do get MANY FB inbox messages, emails and twitter messages. People opening up to me after I post something. Relating to me. Allowing me to see that I am not crazy. I am human. 

Often the messages make me laugh as people relive crazy relationships and break ups. From time to time I am brought to tears as someone shares how me talking about my mom helped them deal with their own loss. How about the phone call I received from someone I don't talk to very often offering to come and help serve at the Thanksgiving dinner I prepared for my grandparents. The persons mother was even willing to come and teach me the art of the Thanksgiving meal. These are people who HEAR me. 

I am writing this the morning after losing a blog award. Let me say this. Losing sucks. Don't let anyone tell you differently. People can act like somehow losing is something that doesn't matter, but it does. If I didn't care to win, I wouldn't have tried to win. You have to put on your "YEA FOR YOU" face for the winner and muster up the courage to hear people say "Girl you should have won", "YOU didn't win? WHAT" or "You'll get em next time" and not break into a three year old tantrum....BUT I WANT MY AWARD!!!

I woke up this morning still feeling a little less than perfect and as usual I logged onto FB and saw this comment under what I am now calling my concession status...."....and you still have an amazing blog...". Right...duh, I still have The Blog! It's like the first bad night after having a baby, getting married or with the new boyfriend. The next day the person does something that makes you remember why you are there. Why you love them so. Why you need them. Today I remember The Blog gives me a voice...and I am so thankful for that today... for having a voice that touches others is the best award I have ever received. Thank you. 

Musical Inspiration 

Artist: Maze featuring Frankie Beverly

Song: Reason

Peace and Love Candegirl

Love Letters of a Silly Girl

 


 
Musical Inspiration 
Artist: Deniece Williams
Song: Silly of Me

Peace and Love Candegirl

Shattered Glass...And Pisstivity

Musical Inspiration (Since it would almost feel better if this was the case)
Artist: Jazmine Sullivan
Song: Bust the Windows




Peace and Love Candegirl

I Like Your Mind?

Musical Inspiration
Artist: Skyy
Song: Call Me


Peace and Love Candegirl

Books, Martinis and You

Help do something great for the kids of DPS and have a little toast! More details here!

Musical Inspiration
Artist: Chaka Khan (BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT ;-)
Song: Reading Rainbow




















Peace and Love Candegir

The Power of Forgiveness

One of the hardest lessons to learn as a human is how to forgive. I don't mean saying the words I forgive you, but truly learning how to let something go from our mind, heart and soul. I am a strong believer that you can't really learn how to forgive until you have had to be the one that has been forgiven. How humbling it is to fall and have the person you wronged reach down to pick you back up with three little words: "I forgive you". Sometimes we make smaller more easier to get over moves, other times we test the very being of people and their ability to move on from hurt. I have been on both ends. I have felt hurt that at first seemed so engraved I just knew there could be no moving on. I have also dealt some mighty strong hurt onto others.

I have not always forgiven, I have not always been forgiven.

 There are for many of us unresolved relationships of all kinds that simply need to be on the receiving end or giving end of the word FORGIVE.  The thing that so often strikes me is that whether you are the victim or the villein you spend no less time thinking of forgiveness.

When it comes to forgiving sometimes it takes no more than remembering a moment when someone forgave you, for you to learn how to forgive someone else. I am at that place in time as I type this. I am ready to forgive someone who hurt me. I am ready to let them know that I have moved past the pain. I can't say that this will repair our relationship, but it will bring closure...to both of us. It has taken a long time to get here. Too long actually, because I forgot what it felt like on the other side of forgiveness, the side where you need someone to forgive you.

Today I am featured in an article in the Detroit Free Press with a dear friend. In the article I recall a time when I hurt that person. It was thinking of this story that happened over ten years ago that made me realize that I have been taught to forgive, even in the most difficult of circumstances,  by being forgiven. I am taking that lesson today and applying it to my life.

Thank you Nesia for teaching me how to forgive. It is a lesson I will keep with me forever.

Musical Inspiration
Artist: Brandy
Song: Human




Peace and Love Candegirl