Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Vent: He's Not Cutting...ACTUALLY!!!
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Run DMC
Song: You Be Illin
Peace and Love Candegirl
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Vent: No You Aren't Invited...ACTUALLY!
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Alanis Morissette
Song: Uninvited
Peace and Love Candegirl
Friday, December 17, 2010
A Message About: The Blog
"It was January 1st and very Bridgette Jones style I was sitting alone in my house in a bath rob and thinking about my life(I am sure there was some wine involved). I was thinking about being single at nearly 30, a social butterfly, and a LOVER of Detroit among many other things and what all of that means to my daily walk. There are so many stories that come from those parts of my life that I believe are universal. So now I do these confessions, sometimes written articles mostly video's, that allow me to vent to the world all the things that make up this girl in the city. This is how Confessions of a Candegirl was born." Candice to Metromix on why she started Confessions
Peace and Love Candegirl
If you are my friend, and honestly, even if you aren't, you will here me say one phrase over and over "The Blog". Like those people you know who are in new loving relationships who can't stop saying stuff like "The Baby", "The Husband", The Boyfriend". You could have introduced them to their husband and damn well know their name is not "The Husband", but they just can't help themselves. It feels good to have something that is yours. Something to announce to the world. Be it a baby, a husband, a boyfriend and in my case...a blog.
On that January day last year things could have been very different. I could have kept thinking of all the things I didn't have that I want. The life that is alluding me. Instead I started a blog. A way to connect to people who feel the way I do. Sometimes your own thoughts can make you think you are going crazy. You feel like no one else can relate to where you are, has walked in the path you are on or feels the emotions you feel. In reality nothing could be further from the truth. This blog has taught me that over and over. While I don't get many direct comments to the posts, I do get MANY FB inbox messages, emails and twitter messages. People opening up to me after I post something. Relating to me. Allowing me to see that I am not crazy. I am human.
Often the messages make me laugh as people relive crazy relationships and break ups. From time to time I am brought to tears as someone shares how me talking about my mom helped them deal with their own loss. How about the phone call I received from someone I don't talk to very often offering to come and help serve at the Thanksgiving dinner I prepared for my grandparents. The persons mother was even willing to come and teach me the art of the Thanksgiving meal. These are people who HEAR me.
I am writing this the morning after losing a blog award. Let me say this. Losing sucks. Don't let anyone tell you differently. People can act like somehow losing is something that doesn't matter, but it does. If I didn't care to win, I wouldn't have tried to win. You have to put on your "YEA FOR YOU" face for the winner and muster up the courage to hear people say "Girl you should have won", "YOU didn't win? WHAT" or "You'll get em next time" and not break into a three year old tantrum....BUT I WANT MY AWARD!!!
I woke up this morning still feeling a little less than perfect and as usual I logged onto FB and saw this comment under what I am now calling my concession status...."....and you still have an amazing blog...". Right...duh, I still have The Blog! It's like the first bad night after having a baby, getting married or with the new boyfriend. The next day the person does something that makes you remember why you are there. Why you love them so. Why you need them. Today I remember The Blog gives me a voice...and I am so thankful for that today... for having a voice that touches others is the best award I have ever received. Thank you.
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Maze featuring Frankie Beverly
Song: Reason
Peace and Love Candegirl
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Love Letters of a Silly Girl
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Deniece Williams
Song: Silly of Me
Peace and Love Candegirl
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Shattered Glass...And Pisstivity
Musical Inspiration (Since it would almost feel better if this was the case)
Artist: Jazmine Sullivan
Song: Bust the Windows
Peace and Love Candegirl
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Books, Martinis and You
Help do something great for the kids of DPS and have a little toast! More details here!
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Chaka Khan (BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT ;-)
Song: Reading Rainbow
Peace and Love Candegir
Sunday, December 5, 2010
The Power of Forgiveness
One of the hardest lessons to learn as a human is how to forgive. I don't mean saying the words I forgive you, but truly learning how to let something go from our mind, heart and soul. I am a strong believer that you can't really learn how to forgive until you have had to be the one that has been forgiven. How humbling it is to fall and have the person you wronged reach down to pick you back up with three little words: "I forgive you". Sometimes we make smaller more easier to get over moves, other times we test the very being of people and their ability to move on from hurt. I have been on both ends. I have felt hurt that at first seemed so engraved I just knew there could be no moving on. I have also dealt some mighty strong hurt onto others.
I have not always forgiven, I have not always been forgiven.
There are for many of us unresolved relationships of all kinds that simply need to be on the receiving end or giving end of the word FORGIVE. The thing that so often strikes me is that whether you are the victim or the villein you spend no less time thinking of forgiveness.
When it comes to forgiving sometimes it takes no more than remembering a moment when someone forgave you, for you to learn how to forgive someone else. I am at that place in time as I type this. I am ready to forgive someone who hurt me. I am ready to let them know that I have moved past the pain. I can't say that this will repair our relationship, but it will bring closure...to both of us. It has taken a long time to get here. Too long actually, because I forgot what it felt like on the other side of forgiveness, the side where you need someone to forgive you.
Today I am featured in an article in the Detroit Free Press with a dear friend. In the article I recall a time when I hurt that person. It was thinking of this story that happened over ten years ago that made me realize that I have been taught to forgive, even in the most difficult of circumstances, by being forgiven. I am taking that lesson today and applying it to my life.
Thank you Nesia for teaching me how to forgive. It is a lesson I will keep with me forever.
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Brandy
Song: Human
Peace and Love Candegirl
I have not always forgiven, I have not always been forgiven.
There are for many of us unresolved relationships of all kinds that simply need to be on the receiving end or giving end of the word FORGIVE. The thing that so often strikes me is that whether you are the victim or the villein you spend no less time thinking of forgiveness.
When it comes to forgiving sometimes it takes no more than remembering a moment when someone forgave you, for you to learn how to forgive someone else. I am at that place in time as I type this. I am ready to forgive someone who hurt me. I am ready to let them know that I have moved past the pain. I can't say that this will repair our relationship, but it will bring closure...to both of us. It has taken a long time to get here. Too long actually, because I forgot what it felt like on the other side of forgiveness, the side where you need someone to forgive you.
Today I am featured in an article in the Detroit Free Press with a dear friend. In the article I recall a time when I hurt that person. It was thinking of this story that happened over ten years ago that made me realize that I have been taught to forgive, even in the most difficult of circumstances, by being forgiven. I am taking that lesson today and applying it to my life.
Thank you Nesia for teaching me how to forgive. It is a lesson I will keep with me forever.
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Brandy
Song: Human
Peace and Love Candegirl
Monday, November 29, 2010
Suicide Tire
Musical Inspiration
Artist: The Police
Song: I Can't Stand Losing You
Peace and Love Candegirl
Thursday, November 25, 2010
It's Turkey Day
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Walter Hawkins
Song: Thank You Lord
Peace and Love Candegirl
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Lessons in Family and Service
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Earth, Wind and Fire
Song: Mom
Peace and Love Candegirl
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
LET'S WAIT AWHILE?
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Janet Jackson
Song: Let's Wait Awhile
Peace and Love Candegirl
Sunday, November 14, 2010
My Disdain For Showers....
Musical Inspiration
Artist: No Doubt
Song: Just A Girl
Peace and Love Candegirl
Friday, November 5, 2010
The Man, The Myth, The Legend: Tyler Perry
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Donny Hathaway
Song: Little Ghetto Boy
Peace and Love Candegirl
My Girlfriends...
I have been thinking a lot about the relationship that is the female friendship. It is a relationship often lampooned and criticized. So often women are betrayed as jealous, back biting and selfish in their dealings with one another. While of course all relationships face special challenges it seems even women don't believe in the power of their connection to one another. We are so quick to blast or dismiss our friendships. To allow flaws of character to ruin the strength of what our friendships and most importantly to ruin what they can become.
I have been blessed to have amazing friends, but in life the true gift is in the ability to recognize your blessings. I have built a family, a circle as we call it, of women where I laugh, cry or scream I know they will be my side. After having this I can't imagine what life would be like without it. With all of the many personalities there is something I gain in knowing each one of them. I see pieces of my own beauty in their faces. I know that if God saw fit for me to have such remarkable people in my life I must be apart of that cloth.
It's tough being a woman and you need others who can relate to your journey. Who also deal with the affects of being daughters, granddaughters, sisters, mothers and wives. Titles that come, each with their own special blessings and challenges. I have male friends, but my female friends give me that "Beaches", "Steel Magnolias", "YaYa" and "Waiting to Exhale" love that I need. An understanding of what it is like to have your body and mind literally on a cycle through life.
When I hear women say I don't have female friends my heart breaks, because I know that is someone who has more than likely had a person take advantage of their true friendship. My hope is that every woman finds one other woman on earth who she can call friend undeniably. We have to teach our daughters to be the kind friends we would have wanted, or have, in our own lives.
I tell younger women whenever I can, to cherish their female friends wether you have a group or just one. Treat it with the love you would give any dear family member. I understand that as an only child my connection to friendship is more pronounced. There are no sisters I can turn to, but there are friends who have been sisters in more ways that I can count. They have loved me in such a way that even as an only child I can feel the strength of sisterhood in my very being.
The most important part of friendship is remembering that just like in most parts of life you only get out what you put in. Always check yourself to be sure that you aren't abusing your friends. That when all is said and done each of you has credits and debits. There are times when you will need to withdraw more than that person, but be sure when they need more you will be there.
Friendship is work. It isn't easy, but the joy in looking around and knowing someone is there with you makes this road we call life a hell of lot easier.
To my circle....THANK YOU.
"There is a kind of quilt called a friendship quilt, but I imagine all of mine, no matter what their pattern, are emblems of female friendship, that essential thread that has so often kept the pieces of my own life together, and from time to time kept me from falling apart."
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Whitney Houston and Cece Winans
Song: Count on Me
I have been blessed to have amazing friends, but in life the true gift is in the ability to recognize your blessings. I have built a family, a circle as we call it, of women where I laugh, cry or scream I know they will be my side. After having this I can't imagine what life would be like without it. With all of the many personalities there is something I gain in knowing each one of them. I see pieces of my own beauty in their faces. I know that if God saw fit for me to have such remarkable people in my life I must be apart of that cloth.
It's tough being a woman and you need others who can relate to your journey. Who also deal with the affects of being daughters, granddaughters, sisters, mothers and wives. Titles that come, each with their own special blessings and challenges. I have male friends, but my female friends give me that "Beaches", "Steel Magnolias", "YaYa" and "Waiting to Exhale" love that I need. An understanding of what it is like to have your body and mind literally on a cycle through life.
When I hear women say I don't have female friends my heart breaks, because I know that is someone who has more than likely had a person take advantage of their true friendship. My hope is that every woman finds one other woman on earth who she can call friend undeniably. We have to teach our daughters to be the kind friends we would have wanted, or have, in our own lives.
I tell younger women whenever I can, to cherish their female friends wether you have a group or just one. Treat it with the love you would give any dear family member. I understand that as an only child my connection to friendship is more pronounced. There are no sisters I can turn to, but there are friends who have been sisters in more ways that I can count. They have loved me in such a way that even as an only child I can feel the strength of sisterhood in my very being.
The most important part of friendship is remembering that just like in most parts of life you only get out what you put in. Always check yourself to be sure that you aren't abusing your friends. That when all is said and done each of you has credits and debits. There are times when you will need to withdraw more than that person, but be sure when they need more you will be there.
Friendship is work. It isn't easy, but the joy in looking around and knowing someone is there with you makes this road we call life a hell of lot easier.
To my circle....THANK YOU.
"There is a kind of quilt called a friendship quilt, but I imagine all of mine, no matter what their pattern, are emblems of female friendship, that essential thread that has so often kept the pieces of my own life together, and from time to time kept me from falling apart."
Anna Quindlen
Peace and Love Candegirl |
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| This free picture collage made with Smilebox |
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Whitney Houston and Cece Winans
Song: Count on Me
Thursday, November 4, 2010
The Prayer That Came....A Little Late
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Shirley Caesar
Song: The Praying Slave Lady
Peace and Love Candegirl
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
VLOG: Weekly Update 10.17.10-Award Acceptance Speech, Ball Check, Jazz Up
To Vote for The Blog: www.detroityoun
Peace and Love Candegirl
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Sesame Street
Song: I Love My Hair
Peace and Love Candegirl
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Sweetest Day Challenge: Send Your Love
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Elton John
Song: Can You Feel The Love
Peace and Love Candegirl
Sunday, October 10, 2010
VLOG: Weekly Update 10.10.10-My Stalker, No Vote For You, Blogging for Men
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Jaime Foxx
Song: Extravaganza
Peace and Love Candegirl
30: Two Months Away and I Am Not Ready....
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Angie Stone
Song: Holding Back the Years
Peace and Love Candegirl
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Just Say No To Text
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Aretha Franklin
Song: Call Me
Peace and Love Candegirl
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Hump Day Rant
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Stevie Wonder
Song: Loves In Need
Peace and Love Candegirl
Sunday, October 3, 2010
VLOG: Weekly Update 10.3.10-Hennessy, DTE and Sweet Thangs
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Chaka Khan
Song: Sweet Thing
Peace and Love Candegirl
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Things Fall Apart
Relationships are not always eternal. That is clearly understood by anyone who carries on as an average human. People come and they go. Sometime it's as simple as when a child graduates from one school to the next and leaves behind his classmates and teachers to make connections with new classmates and teachers. Other times we make decisions to transition people out of our lives who just don't fit any longer.
What happens however when two people who are as close as people can be wake up and realize that one of the people has clearly moved on while one person is still very much involved. This happens in all sorts of relationships: romantic, friendships, business partners. You simply realize that while you were busy "being in love" the other person was busy moving on. What's even worst is when you see where the person has moved to and you don't really have an objection to it. You can see why they chose to leave for those greener pastures, because let's be real with ourselves sometimes we know we aren't all we can be or should be for a person.
The problem is that no matter how much you understand the disconnect you can't alway convince yourself to move on. Sometimes you just want things to be as they once were when both parties clearly understood the rules of the relationship and played fair. It always starts off with small over sites on one persons behalf...then it turns to the swept aside person acting in anger and purposely setting out to hurt the person who so easily swept them aside. A war is being waged by one person to hold on to their heart while the other person isn't even aware of the conflict.
Relationships aren't easy. It's at these times when we have to clearly communicate to ourselves and our relationship partners how we feel while understanding that this might not yield the result we most hope for, but will bring clarity and closure to what may just be the moment that things fall apart.
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Built to Spill
Song: Things Fall Apart
Peace and Love Candegirl
What happens however when two people who are as close as people can be wake up and realize that one of the people has clearly moved on while one person is still very much involved. This happens in all sorts of relationships: romantic, friendships, business partners. You simply realize that while you were busy "being in love" the other person was busy moving on. What's even worst is when you see where the person has moved to and you don't really have an objection to it. You can see why they chose to leave for those greener pastures, because let's be real with ourselves sometimes we know we aren't all we can be or should be for a person.
The problem is that no matter how much you understand the disconnect you can't alway convince yourself to move on. Sometimes you just want things to be as they once were when both parties clearly understood the rules of the relationship and played fair. It always starts off with small over sites on one persons behalf...then it turns to the swept aside person acting in anger and purposely setting out to hurt the person who so easily swept them aside. A war is being waged by one person to hold on to their heart while the other person isn't even aware of the conflict.
Relationships aren't easy. It's at these times when we have to clearly communicate to ourselves and our relationship partners how we feel while understanding that this might not yield the result we most hope for, but will bring clarity and closure to what may just be the moment that things fall apart.
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Built to Spill
Song: Things Fall Apart
Peace and Love Candegirl
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Living Life For Today
Musical Inspiration
Artist: John Mayer
Song: Why Georgia
Peace and Love Candegirl
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sick and Stuff: My Thoughts on Being 80 and Eddie Long
Note: This was filmed around 9/20 although I am just posting it....
Musical Inspiration
Artist: R Kelly
Song: Trapped in the Closet
Peace and Love Candegirl
Musical Inspiration
Artist: R Kelly
Song: Trapped in the Closet
Peace and Love Candegirl
The Lover: A Kinda Documentary
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Phil Collins
Song: Easy Lover
Peace and Love Candegirl
Sunday, September 19, 2010
VLOG: Weekly Update 9.19.10-Cemetary, Meeting, Infection
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Ralph Tresvant
Song: Sensitivity
Peace and Love Candegirl
Saturday, September 18, 2010
The Horror Story: Scary Movies and Scary Men
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Shirley Brown
Song: Woman to Woman
Peace and Love Candegirl
Sunday, September 12, 2010
VLOG: Weekly Update 9.13.10-Fire, Hair and Dating
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Rick James and Tenna Marie
Song: Fire and Desire
Peace and Love Candegirl
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Hair Update: Henna and Kimmaytube Leave In
To get the Kimmaytube leave in recipe...click below
Kimmaytube Leave In
For more information on Henna...click below
Henna-Curly Nikki Forum
Peace and Love Candegirl
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Reasons My Grandpa Is Cooler Than You
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| Grandpa and Me! Doesn't He Look Cool?! |
Top 10 Reasons Why Grandpa is Cooler Than You
10. He built, and I do mean built, with his own two hands the breakfast nook on the back of their house. He is currently remodeling my basement. Did I mention he is 86?
9. He has a computer. A Sony VAIO and he asked me for an MP3 player...he knows what an MP3 player is. Oh by the way he is 86.
8. He reads the paper every single day. My earliest memories are of him reading the paper and me sitting at the table pretending to read long before I could. He made me yearn to learn how to read and he is the reason I have to read the paper everyday.
7. When I was struggling with Pre-Calc in high school he was the only person able to help me. The thing about that is he has a 10th grade education. He left school to work and eventually join the army yet he could understand and teach the rules of Pre-Calc.
6. When he took my grandmother on their first date, more than 57 years ago, he was nervous and broke but didn't want her to know. When it was time for him to check their coats at the supper club they went to he said to her "well looks like we have to hold our coats, because they don't have change for a fifty". My grandmother always chimes in when they tell this story and says "I knew he was lying the place was packed they had change, but he was sweet...and I knew he was broke". He had fifteen dollars to his name and stretched it all to impress this young woman who would become my grandmother. COOL!
5. He wanted a grandson...after having three girls. He got me. So guess who he made watch baseball, football, basketball and especially golf with him. I don't know much, but I know enough to fake it for the boys. Thanks Grandpa!
4. He never stayed out late, never came home drunk, never raised his voice and never missed a day of work. He loves his family and although he never knew his father he has been a father figure to so many young men in our neighborhood, inside our family and those who he calls his Masonic brothers.
3. He loves music and has a jazz collection, vinyl baby, that will KNOCK your socks off. He taught me about Byrd, Duke, Washington, Coltrane and more. He is also the reason I love big band music and classical. He is one cool cat.....
2. He has loved my grandmother for 57 years and at this time in life when she needs to lean on him for daily assistance he does it with no complaints and more love than I have ever witnessed. This is marriage...!
1. See the video for the number one reason why my Grandpa is COOLER than you...and me!
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Louis Armstrong
Song: What A Wonderful World
Peace and Love Candegirl
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
The Love That Won't Love You Back
Life is full of all kinds of love. The love of a parent for a child. The love of friends. New love...old love...perfect and imperfect. The love that I have most recently encountered and have had trouble shaking is the the love that won't love you back. You see all the signs that love exist in this space, that this love is meant to be yet the person on the other side of that love has no connection, call it bad love reception.
This love brings joy at first and then one day you realize it. That while you are feeling one kind of love the person on the other end is experiencing an entirely different form of love, or worst....no love at all. You beg with yourself to stop loving the person. To move on. To grow a pair. You look for new hobbies, new addictions, new love, but when you get even a moment of quiet that love that has been so evasive pops right back in and consumes you.
This love is like the toy you lose as a child and while you had tons of other toys to choose from, and you played with them, secretly you long for that toy. I had a Barbie like that and I can honestly say that to this day I think of that Barbie and I often think that one day I will open up a box from my childhood and find that doll, though she has been missing for nearly 20 years.
When it's a toy, holding out hope for 20 years doesn't seem so bad. When it is a person, another human with their own agenda, feelings and perhaps pursuits of their own unrequited love then you find yourself at the mercy of this persons hold on your heart.
The thing is if the love you felt was real love, a real sense of belonging in someones world and them inside of yours how do let that go? How do you move on from that the place...that feeling?
If anyone has the cure for the love that won't love you back...send it to me, because I am ready for love that plays fair.
Peace and Love Candegirl
This love brings joy at first and then one day you realize it. That while you are feeling one kind of love the person on the other end is experiencing an entirely different form of love, or worst....no love at all. You beg with yourself to stop loving the person. To move on. To grow a pair. You look for new hobbies, new addictions, new love, but when you get even a moment of quiet that love that has been so evasive pops right back in and consumes you.
This love is like the toy you lose as a child and while you had tons of other toys to choose from, and you played with them, secretly you long for that toy. I had a Barbie like that and I can honestly say that to this day I think of that Barbie and I often think that one day I will open up a box from my childhood and find that doll, though she has been missing for nearly 20 years.
When it's a toy, holding out hope for 20 years doesn't seem so bad. When it is a person, another human with their own agenda, feelings and perhaps pursuits of their own unrequited love then you find yourself at the mercy of this persons hold on your heart.
The thing is if the love you felt was real love, a real sense of belonging in someones world and them inside of yours how do let that go? How do you move on from that the place...that feeling?
If anyone has the cure for the love that won't love you back...send it to me, because I am ready for love that plays fair.
Peace and Love Candegirl
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Preparing To Meet Your Fantasy
So as those of you who have seen this weeks VLOG update or you are my close friend and received a call from me today to remind you, tomorrow I will be meeting a man who's image has comforted many a single girl night for me, Mr. Idris Elba.
I am unsure how that much SLINK+IMAGEEXY can exist inside one man, but it does. As I prepare myself to be in the presence of LOVELINESS I thought I would do a quick post on the four things one must do the night before meeting Idris for the first time.
4. Scrub, Exfoliate, Cleanse REPEAT- you skin should feel like the day you were born. SOFT, CARESSABLE, IRRESISTBLE. You should smell like a muse, a goddess, a woman he should KNOW.
3. Remove all hair that is NOT helping you maintain your sexy- legs, face, underarms and anywhere else that could become visible give the right amount of time and seclusion with Mr. Elba.
2. Clothes/Make-up/Hair/Accessories- if it is the night before and your clothing and hair are still a mystery you have ALREADY failed this test. Stay home and wait for the report.
1. Place ones mind in the ZONE...THE SEXY ZONE- do this by opening a glass of red wine the night before. Taste the sweet nectar of life. Turn on the sounds of men like Maxwell, Prince and Eric Benet. Open your senses to the smells of lit candles. Eat sexy food like chocolate covered strawberries. Rub a mink pillow and embrace the softness.
Sleep...sleep...and wake to the thought of IDRIS! LOL
Peace and Love Candegirl
I am unsure how that much SLINK+IMAGEEXY can exist inside one man, but it does. As I prepare myself to be in the presence of LOVELINESS I thought I would do a quick post on the four things one must do the night before meeting Idris for the first time.
4. Scrub, Exfoliate, Cleanse REPEAT- you skin should feel like the day you were born. SOFT, CARESSABLE, IRRESISTBLE. You should smell like a muse, a goddess, a woman he should KNOW.
3. Remove all hair that is NOT helping you maintain your sexy- legs, face, underarms and anywhere else that could become visible give the right amount of time and seclusion with Mr. Elba.
2. Clothes/Make-up/Hair/Accessories- if it is the night before and your clothing and hair are still a mystery you have ALREADY failed this test. Stay home and wait for the report.
1. Place ones mind in the ZONE...THE SEXY ZONE- do this by opening a glass of red wine the night before. Taste the sweet nectar of life. Turn on the sounds of men like Maxwell, Prince and Eric Benet. Open your senses to the smells of lit candles. Eat sexy food like chocolate covered strawberries. Rub a mink pillow and embrace the softness.
Sleep...sleep...and wake to the thought of IDRIS! LOL
Peace and Love Candegirl
Monday, August 9, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Saturday Morning Attitude
I hate when I fall asleep out of boredom! It literally makes me wakeup the next day with the worst attitude.
This was what happened to me last night when I failed to find anyone to go to a concert with me, catch my rant on the weekly update about that, and then I had not one call, text message, BBM, Tweet, FB message or messenger bird drop a: "Hey...we're going to be over.....". So I slept. I guess every now and again getting in bed early is a good thing, but I am losing my "in my twenties weekends....FAST", especially my summer ones. I am in NO way saying that I won't have a good time or a better time in my thirties, but I would like to enjoy what's left of THIS decade. Now typically I am at no loss for things to do, there are usually too many things in a week, but like a true American I am only looking at what I didn't have in my over consumed life and complaining about that. HA!
So today if I were you I would avoid me...my attitude is all the way turned up thinking about my summer night in the bed.
Also, if I see one picture of any of my friends "Getting It In" from last night I am going to..."Set It Off".
Now excuse me while I start my Attitude Saturday off with the clean, crisp smell of Pine-Sol. URGH!
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| My typical Friday night |
This was what happened to me last night when I failed to find anyone to go to a concert with me, catch my rant on the weekly update about that, and then I had not one call, text message, BBM, Tweet, FB message or messenger bird drop a: "Hey...we're going to be over.....". So I slept. I guess every now and again getting in bed early is a good thing, but I am losing my "in my twenties weekends....FAST", especially my summer ones. I am in NO way saying that I won't have a good time or a better time in my thirties, but I would like to enjoy what's left of THIS decade. Now typically I am at no loss for things to do, there are usually too many things in a week, but like a true American I am only looking at what I didn't have in my over consumed life and complaining about that. HA!
So today if I were you I would avoid me...my attitude is all the way turned up thinking about my summer night in the bed.
Also, if I see one picture of any of my friends "Getting It In" from last night I am going to..."Set It Off".
Now excuse me while I start my Attitude Saturday off with the clean, crisp smell of Pine-Sol. URGH!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Get It Together Candegirl
From time to time you have to put yourself on punishment. This video is all about how I have broken my self imposed punishment. Sheesh!
Now you have to excuse the poor framing in the video I was in bed!!!!
Now you have to excuse the poor framing in the video I was in bed!!!!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Learning to Love Number One...
There are many things people can say about my character that won't exactly be compliments. I know what many of those things would be and no, I am not about to write a list of them for you! There are things that are simply true about a persons character and almost everyone who knows them could point it out. These come in the good and bad variety.
One of my good traits is my loyalty. If I have your back I have it...good, bad or indifferent. Most of this comes from wanting to assist people where ever I can and the other portion comes from the soul depleting quality that is being a people pleaser. I spent many years not being able to say, "NO" and when I did I ended up so hurt that it just became easier to always say yes. Wether it left me out of time, money or personal satisfaction there I was ready to make someone else's life easier.
There are times when you simply need to work on your own life. You can't get involved in other peoples dreams, conquest or problems. You need to deal with your life...YOUR LIFE. This has never been more true for me than right now. For a number of personal reasons I had to take a step back and shed some people and commitments. At almost 30 I am just learning to love me first and to place my personal goals ahead of being liked, being popular or being loved. This lesson has made me grow away from some people and closer to others. I find myself especially drawn to people who learned years ago the lesson I am just adding to my arsenal. People who I probably saw as selfish at some point are now the people silently teaching me to live my dreams.
There came a day when I could tell you what other people dreamed of doing with their lives, the goals they had and how they wanted me to be apart of making that happen and I knew if I asked them what even one of my real dreams was or is....I would get the blank stare or some answer they thought could possibly be correct. I had to move on. I had to learn to work harder for me...
The blog plays a very important role in this mission. I am committed to this. Even when I am not posting I am thinking about what's next, how do I grow this piece of my dream and where can I go for support. It requires much of my free time...which means these are hours where I have to say: I come first.
This is not an ode to selfishness in anyway. I encourage people to reach out and to sacrifice for others when need be, but not at the price where you no longer know your own self worth.
For those afraid of becoming the person who has to say, "No" remember this: The people who love you want you to grow. They want you to soar. When they see good things coming from you and happening to you they rejoice. If you are receiving anything less than that then consider it the perfect set-up to exfoliate a layer of people you didn't need.
I am dreaming for me. I am working for me. I hope you are doing the same.
Peace and Love Candegirl
One of my good traits is my loyalty. If I have your back I have it...good, bad or indifferent. Most of this comes from wanting to assist people where ever I can and the other portion comes from the soul depleting quality that is being a people pleaser. I spent many years not being able to say, "NO" and when I did I ended up so hurt that it just became easier to always say yes. Wether it left me out of time, money or personal satisfaction there I was ready to make someone else's life easier.
There are times when you simply need to work on your own life. You can't get involved in other peoples dreams, conquest or problems. You need to deal with your life...YOUR LIFE. This has never been more true for me than right now. For a number of personal reasons I had to take a step back and shed some people and commitments. At almost 30 I am just learning to love me first and to place my personal goals ahead of being liked, being popular or being loved. This lesson has made me grow away from some people and closer to others. I find myself especially drawn to people who learned years ago the lesson I am just adding to my arsenal. People who I probably saw as selfish at some point are now the people silently teaching me to live my dreams.
There came a day when I could tell you what other people dreamed of doing with their lives, the goals they had and how they wanted me to be apart of making that happen and I knew if I asked them what even one of my real dreams was or is....I would get the blank stare or some answer they thought could possibly be correct. I had to move on. I had to learn to work harder for me...
The blog plays a very important role in this mission. I am committed to this. Even when I am not posting I am thinking about what's next, how do I grow this piece of my dream and where can I go for support. It requires much of my free time...which means these are hours where I have to say: I come first.
This is not an ode to selfishness in anyway. I encourage people to reach out and to sacrifice for others when need be, but not at the price where you no longer know your own self worth.
For those afraid of becoming the person who has to say, "No" remember this: The people who love you want you to grow. They want you to soar. When they see good things coming from you and happening to you they rejoice. If you are receiving anything less than that then consider it the perfect set-up to exfoliate a layer of people you didn't need.
I am dreaming for me. I am working for me. I hope you are doing the same.
Peace and Love Candegirl
The Same Damn Thing
While I like "We Can Fall in Love" by Estelle is that not the "American Boy" beat in the back. Are we out of beats?
Peace and Love Candegirl
Peace and Love Candegirl
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
The Healer
Last nights video should have given you a good idea of where I was mentally, check it out below if you haven't. Well I stayed in, prayed, washed my hair with some new essential oil mix and did the thing that always places me back where I need to be.... opened my ears to some GOOD music.
I am a music fan. That could be an understatement I am a musics student, friend and supporter. Music feels good going in and just as good when you are giving it out. Wether through your own talents or sharing other peoples talent with someone thirsty for new beats. I love the feeling I get when I hear a new song that gives me chills or an old song pops up and takes me back to a memory. When I was growing up the first thing that happened in the morning was not a TV going on but a radio in the kitchen. I lived in a house of music LOVERS. My mom and grandpa being my biggest teachers. It wasn't forced but because they listened I listened. My mom took me to concerts. She loved concerts. Mom was your typical soul and funk fan. She loved The Isley Brothers, The Elements, Frankie Beverly and Maze, Isaac Hayes, George Clinton, Lou Rawls and a list that could span an entire blog post. There are family videos of her and my aunts lip synching with full out performances, now my friends know where I get it from! She was ALWAYS listening to music. From soul to jazz.
Grandpa gave me jazz and the blues I often joke and say had I been born in an earlier era I would have died of jazz and alcohol, not sure how but I know it would happen. Grandpa gave me Sarah Vaughn, Dinah Washington, Ella, Dizzy, Duke, Miles, B.B. King and many more. Grandpa also gave me my versatility. He listens to country, classical, gospel and will sit for hours studying a song. I love that about him.
Music can save you. It can move you. It can calm you. From your best moments to your worst music is along for the ride.
So for that feeling of love, understanding and comfort I say thank you to the rhythm, the beat, the instruments that make your face turn ugly from the beauty they posses, the words, the melody, voices, the production and the sheer genius that goes into making great life changing music.
Thank you music.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
When You See IT: ABORT, AVOID, ABANDON
Last night was one of those random Detroit nights. I was planning a short simple dinner with my SGC (Single Gal Crew). After we finished dinner we figured it was still early and a nice night so why not head off to get some Cold Stone at Greektown Casino. We hop in my car and drive down Woodward and here kids is where the trouble starts. I could have chosen to turn down any number of streets to head to Greektown, but I take the loop around Campus Martius Park. Well right at the corner there were people sitting on a patio just outside a quaint little bar. Someone in the car says “oh what’s that place”….. “it’s the wine bar…Vine” another person answers. “Hmmm looks cool,”…. "yeah I've been wanting to try it”. Word of advice: NEVER say in front of me that you wanted to try a place in Detroit, because I will almost always stop and make sure we both have a new Detroit experience. So we delay the ice cream, park and head to the patio to have a glass of wine. One glass of wine and like good girls we head to get the ice cream.
One block from Vine was another little interesting spot on a corner, 1701 Cigar Bar. “Oh wow…how long has that been there”, “Wonder what it’s like on the inside”, “OOOOO girl I think I see some chocolate (a reference to the men in the spot)”. Well once again I park and say, “let’s check it out”!
We head into what is surely a man’s cave. You would have thought we were naked by the looks on the faces of the men when we walked in. They were all into the Tigers game, drinking whiskey and of course smoking cigars. Well, these are all turn on’s for me, so I was sold the minute I walked in, crazy stares and all. The men inside were older, professional and not the least bit interested in the three girls who had just walked in. One friend goes and gets a cigar and we order a drink because we want to see where this all goes. We get comfortable and started doing what girls do, picking each man apart…head to toe. As we went around the room creating background stories and theories IT appeared. My friend noticed IT first. IT was shiny, IT was gold and IT was Turkish linked. IT was the male anklet bracelet being worn by a man who from head to just above the ankle looked like your quintessential mans….man. But there on his ankle was this gold chain. An accessory I wouldn’t even wear! To top it all off he had on flip-flops that had to be about a size seven. I know what you are thinking he was older, nope he was MAYBE thirty five.
The disappointment was deep. Why on Earth would there be this man who seemed so right and then in a flash was SO wrong. I had trouble sleeping after leaving when I got home. I kept seeing IT. So gold, so flashy, so on his ankle. My friend put a post about it on her Facebook page. All the women responded with the same basic statement: ABORT, AVOID, ABANDON. Funny thing about the women who responded each and every last one currently lives in Atlanta. I am taking those sistas advice and directing my eyes towards the jewelry free ankles.
Peace and Love Candegirl
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Klymaxx
Song: The Men All Pause
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Living life
Ok guys one of the things that makes the blog what it has been have been my real life experiences. From time to time I have to go out and live so I can give you more. I am writing this from a couch at a cigar bar learning about men who dare to wear ankle bracelets! You know I will blog the details tomorrow. Until then have a great night!
Monday, July 19, 2010
My Plastic Prince Charming
As a little girl with a BIG imagination I would spend hours playing with my Barbie dolls. We would play all sorts of games from hospital to school. The game that was played most often however, was the game we call life or back then "house". Barbie was always the perfect wife. Kids dressed, dinner on time and Ken always took her to the ocean on the weekends, just the two of them. As you can see I spent a lot of my time watching Knots Landing with my grandmother and then turning those episodes into Barbie's life moments ;-). Somewhere along the line Ken gave me the perfection complex. I grew into a young woman who somehow thought that Ken existed in real life and that my perfect family was but a Barbie isle away. I can hear young Candice saying, "I want to date and marry the right kind of person".....ugh! What does that even mean....the right kind of person? Hell, I am pretty sure I am not the right kind of person. I wanted him educated, handsome, smart, well versed in a number of subjects with a little spending cash on the side. He also needed to fit into a list that I recently published on Facebook of 75 things I needed in a man.
I was delusional. Full of childhood dreams of perfection. The thing about only considering perfect people is that you miss the people with real life experience. The people who know what to do when imperfection creeps up to your doorstep, as it will do. I remember being in college and dating a young man who was anything, but perfect and I adored him. For all of the other people I dated up to that point I had to be this hologram of myself to get what I thought was their perfection. He changed that for me. He hated that part of me. He wanted the real me, not the everything is fine... life is peachy act I was putting on all the time. Behind closed doors I could tell him anything. There was no judgment and there was no holds bar advice. Dating him taught me that it is much more important to have someone who can love you at your ugliest than at your prettiest. Who can see the worst in you all while admiring the best in you. That kind of love is hard to find.
So as I walk the road of life wondering where my life mate is, I am certain of one thing, where ever he is I love him for both his and good and bad. I will listen as often as possible without judgement and I will give him that feeling of being loved at his worst, because isn't that what truly puts us back at our best.
Ken will go back in his box in the closest and from time to time I will pull him out and remind myself that there is no perfection even in my perfect Ken doll.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Great Clips: You Dead Wrong
Hey Good People!
So today is my rest day, I try not to use my brain too much on Saturday. I would hate to get a brain strain. I ran errands most of the day and on my final stop I came across the the scene you see pictured above.
This is a person in a chicken costume with a sign for $7 hair cuts at Great Clips. It is damn near 90 degrees and the sun is OUT so why in the world would a company send someone out to do this? Beyond the health implications do people dressed in chicken costumes holding signs actually increase sales? I mean have you ever said: "Oh look at that human chicken reminding me to go get a hair cut....at Great Clips....let's go in!" You probably haven't, so I think the company would be better served to try a marketing campaign that doesn't involve possible heat stroke. DUMB!
That is all for today have a good Saturday night and remember....if a man says he will give you job and all you have to do is show up you might end up in a chicken suit.
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Pink Floyd
Song: Money
Peace and Love Candegirl
So today is my rest day, I try not to use my brain too much on Saturday. I would hate to get a brain strain. I ran errands most of the day and on my final stop I came across the the scene you see pictured above.
This is a person in a chicken costume with a sign for $7 hair cuts at Great Clips. It is damn near 90 degrees and the sun is OUT so why in the world would a company send someone out to do this? Beyond the health implications do people dressed in chicken costumes holding signs actually increase sales? I mean have you ever said: "Oh look at that human chicken reminding me to go get a hair cut....at Great Clips....let's go in!" You probably haven't, so I think the company would be better served to try a marketing campaign that doesn't involve possible heat stroke. DUMB!
That is all for today have a good Saturday night and remember....if a man says he will give you job and all you have to do is show up you might end up in a chicken suit.
Musical Inspiration
Artist: Pink Floyd
Song: Money
Peace and Love Candegirl
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